I saw a post on Facebook the other day and the woman stated “I hate the holidays”. Hate is a strong word. I wouldn’t say I hate this time of year, but it’s certainly not my favorite. Please understand, I enjoy giving thanks for my many blessings and I relish celebrating the birth of my Jesus. It’s the simple made complicated that moves me to hide under the covers and not come out until Spring.
And then there’s more…
My heart literally feels like it’s being squeezed tight when the grief grabs me. We are just days away from the calendar marking the beginning of my parents’ journey Home. Mom and Dad will celebrate the holidays again in Heaven. I know they are fine. They are more than fine. They celebrate each and every day alongside Jesus and family and friends. I am the one who grieves. I miss them.
Selfishness would wish them back and I trust they wouldn’t want to come back here anyway. But the separation is hard. They are there. We are here.
The moment each one left this Earth, Heaven became so much more real. I have never doubted Heaven’s existence and I have other loved ones and friends who dwell there. However, knowing Mom and Dad are there is different. I often imagine their reaction to seeing Jesus. I am certain they both embraced Him fiercely. The friends and family who greeted them surely thrilled them both. And I have no doubt in my mind that Dad was waiting expectantly for Mom’s arrival and was most likely the first one who embraced her. They died three weeks apart just two years ago. It feels like yesterday and an eternity all at the same time.
I’m not sure what else to say. Sadness mingled with laughter swirls around me like a cold, yet tender wind. Though grief comes to bear, so does joy.
As the season is upon us…Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Mom and Dad!